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Technology

Mood-Sensing Computer 206

Posted by michael from the his-master's-voice dept.
handy_vandal writes "'A team at Vanderbilt University is ... developing a robotic assistant whose goal is .. [to] respond to the moods of its human master.' For use on the battlefield -- e.g. when a soldier is overcome with anxiety."
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Mood-Sensing Computer More

Mood-Sensing Computer

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  • Hmm. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Renraku ( 518261 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:09AM (#4997033) Homepage
    iMac's that change color based on your mood? That's clever marketing.

    • obvious target (Score:3, Insightful)

      by SHEENmaster ( 581283 )
      The government will buy ANYTHING [slashdot.org] that sounds cool, whether or not they need it.
    • I took a class from the prof who's researching this! It's all signal analysis and designing a control system to respond right? Now can I have an A in that System Dynamics course?

      Congrats to Sarkar and the grad students toiling away in one of the weirdest buildings known to man: Vanderbilt's Olin Hall.

      I remember he did ask us at the beginning of the course if any of us wanted to work on this project. He said they were going to be using some SBCs (Single Board Computers) not sure if they were PC104 or what.

      Vanderbilt MEs... We RULE.
  • If you want a computer to sense my mood it might be better to put at least a bit of protection on it. It's not my mood it has to worry about it's my sledgehammer.

    • Hal 2000 (Score:2, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward
      I notice that you are feeling stressed Dave.

  • well that should be helpful (Score:5, Insightful)

    by banky ( 9941 ) <greggNO@SPAMneurobashing.com> on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:13AM (#4997045) Homepage Journal
    Sir, it seems the entire 3rd Division is feeling a little anxious.

    You will also note that most of the Marines in the 187th Expeditionary Force are also nervous about their impending landing.

    Lastly sir, the pilots have... the heebee jeebies.

    Impending War/Risk of painful death == anxiety
    • know what?
      i dont' need a computer to sing me a "jolly good fellow" when i want to kill the bastard.

      shit. i'll just blow that thing to make my day.
      that'd bring me in the mood.

    • Talk about pressure (Score:3, Funny)

      by Anonymous Coward
      Sounds like a great way to reduce the soldiers' stress levels.

      Commander: Listen up, men! You will notice in your equipment a new MOOD SENSING ROBOT. In the event that you are under DEADLY ENEMY FIRE it will sense that you have anxiety, that you are SCARED TO DEATH and broadcast this to the whole batallion. If you break one, we will take it out of your paycheck. Now move!
      • I'm betting the goal is more like a computerized IV pump sort of thing that administers some kind of drug to calm them down and make them more efficient killers.

        WWII was, of course, won without this sort of thing, not counting the morphine addicts.
        • > I'm betting the goal is more like a computerized IV pump sort of thing that administers some kind of
          > drug to calm them down and make them more efficient killers.

          "Ah, yeah, that's the stuff."

          Chris Mattern

  • Uh...computers already respond to our moods. (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Haven't you noticed when you strike the keys harder and/or faster the computer does what you want? C'mon guys, EVERYONE knows that!! Come to think of it, this tatic is effective on co-workers too.

  • For use on the battlefield (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    you'd need a Beowulf cluster of mood-sensing computers.

  • advanced? (Score:5, Funny)

    by ItalianScallion ( 145653 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:15AM (#4997053)
    hi, i'm Hal, and i'm really sorry your windows box got hacked. want a beer?

  • Comment removed (Score:5, Insightful)

    by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:17AM (#4997056)
    Comment removed based on user account deletion

    • Re:Maybe not a good idea (Score:1, Interesting)

      by Anonymous Coward
      Yeah. I would think a better application on the battlefield would be a mood-based computer that senses certain moods and automatically releases certain drugs/chemicals into your body to help you function better. For example, automatically releasing pain killers when a considerable amount of pain is being felt, or some kind of stimulant if it detects its host is becoming sleepy. This could help offset a soldier's changes in mood and emotion, possibly maintaining a consistant level of performance when such consistancy is needed.

      • Reply or moderate... I think I'll reply.

        This would be yet another "slippery slope" thing. Junior depressed, and being beat up in school? No problem! Just attach one of these devices on him no bigger than a pacemarker and he'll feel real good about being beat up! Attach one to the bully too to calm him down! Watch as the two drugged students exchange medication needles in a peace truce!

        Perhaps I'm going overboard above, but there is a limit to what automatically administered medications can do. And even if you could keep your soldier up for four days on no-doze, chances are high you would have trouble keeping him/her up the fifth as medication tolerance sneaks in.

      • Wow that's really interesting. A computer that automatically releases chemicals when you're in pain?

        The interesting part is that everyone already has one. If you hadn't slept through your science classes, you'd know that your brain takes care of stuff like this by itself. If you're in pain, your brain cues the endorphins to ease it. If you have a cold, your immune system gets boosted. If you're in danger, and you know it, your adrenal gland gets stimulated and you get extra power and speed. It doesn't take a battery powered device to accomplish what nature already has.

        At any rate, the sleepiness thing would be nice, but hasn't the government issued amphetamines to the military in the past? I know the Germans kinda pioneered that in WW2 and we thought it was a swell idea. Also lots of snipers are rumored to take medication normally given to Parkinson's patients to calm their jitters (which equals a clean shot).
    • I don't know about you guys but if I am having a panic attack the last thing I want to do is talk to anyone. You just want to get out of where you are, fight or flight. Having a robot asking me questions about how I feel really wouldn't ease any of my anxiety. Although a nice feature would be for the robot to dispense some xanax.

      Well, to make you feel better, I'm pretty sure that you are definitely not in the target audience here. Combat personnel tend to get weeded out of they have panic attacks.

  • Finally! (Score:2, Funny)

    by Sonny Yatsen ( 603655 )
    A computer that understands what it means when I hold a shotgun to it.
  • "Researchers envision the emotion-sensing robot serving military personnel on the battlefield.

    "The human commander may get into trouble but be unable to ask for help," said Nilanjan Sarkar, team member and assistant professor of Vanderbilt University's Department of Mechanical Engineering.

    "In cases like these his robot assistant will be able to detect his stress and either communicate the need for assistance or assist in some way itself."

    So, if the machine can do that, what's to stop some meathead Pentagon desk-bound General from deciding that having a fallable commander on the field is worth it?

    I know it's a stretch, but not that much of one...
    Of course, I don't think we will ever get rid of the human equation in the battlefield, and nor should we.

    I have the part in Ender's Game in my head where Razor Mackham talks to Ender about the importance of having individual command, instead of one central brain...

  • Okay, so it takes account your jaw movements and sweat and heartbeat and brow movements. There seems to be an awful lot of leeway there. I hope that they are doing studies on soldiers that have performed well in actual combat to make sure that the robots aren't just sensing what is SUPPOSED to happen during combat. As is said in the article, this is all based on observable emotion which can vary from person to person, or even as the endorphins or adrenaline starts rushing. Along with that, if the commander starts depending on the little robat to give it pep talks, what happens when it gets blown to small little tin bits? Will the commander be able to function without it or will it become a "necessary" aid? Feels like too many holes in the purpose, use and functionality, even for a "few years" from now.

  • battle? (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Billly Gates ( 198444 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:22AM (#4997073) Journal
    If I think I am going to die in a battlefield and I am shitting in my pants, a robot will do nothing to ease my anxiety or fear. What is it going to do, smile at me when I am freaking out and just trying to survive?

    • Re:battle? (Score:4, Insightful)

      by kisrael ( 134664 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:24AM (#4997087) Homepage
      If I think I am going to die in a battlefield and I am shitting in my pants, a robot will do nothing to ease my anxiety or fear. What is it going to do, smile at me when I am freaking out and just trying to survive?

      Maybe it could inject some really good drugs? Hyperprozac plus adrenalin?
    • Well, for one thing it could call for help even if you're too panicked to do so yourself.
      • I'd rather have one that monitors my health and screams "MEDIC!" if I get blasted. You may still be alive but be to shellshocked to scream for a medic.

        Better yet, how about a spiderlike robot from Minority Report, equipped to cauterize wounds and inject painkillers, while signaling to the medical center (or robot sentry) that I'm hit and need to fall back? Everyone could carry one around in a single pocket and the little guy can spring into action when your health looks bad. A sharp drop in blood pressure is a sure sign of a big wound.

    • Re:battle? (Score:3, Funny)

      by ramzak2k ( 596734 )
      a sensible one will say

      "You got fear !" and then go quiet.

      There is however a new 9.0 version will be programmed to systematically bring down your fear.

      " Hey Shmuck ! Is that all you got eh ? I can smell the poopie in yo pants. Come on, dont be a sissy ! When I was your age.."
    • If I think I am going to die in a battlefield and I am shitting in my pants, a robot will do nothing to ease my anxiety or fear.
      That isn't the point -- the data could be fed to a real-time combat status monitoring system, so that "Big Don" Rumsfeld could see little brown dots appear on his computer screen as he sits in his impenetrable bunker.
  • I can see it now. Our soldier, covered in camo, lying in a sniping position, ready to off Osama... thinks of his wife for a second...

    1) Mood pc starts flashing bright red.
    2) ...
    3) Game over man!
  • Let me be the first to get this out of the way so a real discussion can commence;

    Mood sensing computers bring visions of those annoying gadgets in Red Dwarf and Hitchhikers.

    Now that this has been said let's retire the humour aspect unless it's a really good one.

  • I can see it now (Score:5, Funny)

    by serps ( 517783 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:26AM (#4997091) Homepage

    "It looks like you're trying to take cover under enemy fire. Do you need some help taking cover?"

  • What if ... (Score:5, Funny)

    by SuperDuG ( 134989 ) <be@@@eclec...tk> on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:27AM (#4997095) Homepage Journal
    ... the computer sense a little ... you know ... "in the mood" ... "more ready than usual" ... "ready for a different kind of action" ... "ready to play ball" ... "ready to take one for the team" ... "in the mood for some lovin"

    If it can cater to that need ... then it is DEFINANTELLY slashdot worthy and should be expanded to a market far wider than the military.

  • It'd be sad... (Score:5, Funny)

    by Sonny Yatsen ( 603655 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:31AM (#4997101) Journal
    It'd be sad when one day your computer will be telling you, "I'm not in the mood, I have a headache."
    • It'd be sad when one day your computer will be telling you, "I'm not in the mood, I have a headache."

      "What a minute Doris, we can talk...."

      *Doris-B11 ejects the pilot into the air*
    • So long as there is no "sympathy" sensing.

      Imagine after a long night coding, you say outloud, "I think I'm gonna crash". And, your Windows box replies, "I know just what you mean" as your screen glows blue.

  • that they are nervous because they know they are about to GET SHOT AT? I mean, seriously, most people who are in that situation are a little nervous, I'm sure...I'm nervous they're gonna reinstate the draft...
    • I'm nervous they're gonna reinstate the draft...

      They already did, it's called selective service.
      • Selective Service is a draft database. If the draft is reinstated, the Selective Service DB will be used to get the names and personal info of all men in the US within the age bracket for the draft (or at least those who have sent in the card). However, no people in the US today are going into the military except via a recruiting office.
        • Oh yeah? Then why is it if you DON'T register with Selective Service (you only have to maintain registration until the age of 26) you either get a $250000 fine and/or 5 years in prison?

          Some database.
          • The ability to have a draft is really important to politicians, because if the politicians want to have a big war and can't talk their people into volunteering, it lets them have their war anyway. Without it, politicians could only have wars that the people of their country actually want. Also, it lets politicians have a medium-sized war without having to pay mercenaries' wages, because they can get draftees for less than minimum wage.

            Draft registration is important for a couple of reasons

            • It keeps the public in the habit of obeying orders.
            • If they want to have a big war in a hurry, and the public doesn't want to participate, it's much faster to draft people if you already know where they live.
            • If you've don't do mandatory registration in peacetime, lots of people won't obey or register when you announce that you're having a war, and tracking them down is a slow process - it's much easier to do in peacetime when you're not in a hurry.
            • It's easier to get people to comply when the risk of registration looks low - "having your name in yet another government database" is easier to put up with that "getting sent to VietNam.".
            The reason the US has draft registration today is that Bill Clinton, having been a successful draft dodger and a hypocritical President, didn't want to take the political heat that the Republicans would have given him if he had approved the small amount of funding for closing down Selective Service when it came up for renewal during his term. If he'd had the guts to serve his country by saying "Peacetime Draft Registration is Un-American, let's kill it", we'd be better off. If I remember correctly, the peacetime draft registration was the fault of Jimmy Carter, but it might have been Ford or Reagan.

            My Draft Lottery Number was something over 300, in the last lottery, and I was classified "1-H", which is a holding category that means that the Army didn't want to bother paying to give me a physical. I lost my draft card some time before I turned 26....

  • Bloody Paperclip!!

  • Another thing to worry about (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Dark Bard ( 627623 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:35AM (#4997121)
    Ultimaly doesn't this cause more stress for the soldier? It's one more thing to worry about. If the computer says that your stress level is 10 percent above the norm for a battlefield soldier do you miss a promotion? The information would definately be factored into evaluations. The benefit is questionable but the potential is there for abuse.
    • "If the computer says that your stress level is 10 percent above the norm for a battlefield soldier do you miss a promotion?"

      Only if the battlefield is your typical Office Space-style cubicle where most /.'ers work. A good point though. :)

  • I've heard early versions are quite buggy. (Score:5, Funny)

    by Blue Stone ( 582566 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:42AM (#4997133) Homepage Journal
    Computer: "Sir, I have noticed you are feeling a little horny today, and have downloaded some pr0n for you..."

    User: "Gah!...How many times do I have to tell you???! I only looked at the dwarf stuff once out of curiosity."

    Computer:"Sir I notice you are becoming slightly irritated.... perhaps a wank will calm you down? Observe the dwarf pr0n.... Observe the dwa.. #clik#
  • It senses my "mood" and decides to switch on a little adult entertainment. I'm thinking that this feature should, of course, have an off button.

    Things could get a little upsetting if it suddenly picks up how I'm feeling at a given moment and decides to switch from the current movie DVD which I'm watching with friends to something from my private collection...

    Somebody had to say it, you're just jealous that I beat you to it - phorm

  • I'm imagining the enemy hacking into the system... (Score:4, Funny)

    by dagg ( 153577 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @02:45AM (#4997144) Journal
    Enemy hacks in and watches the moods of our combatants:
    Enemy Underling: Sir, the allied forces are very nervous, should we attack?
    Enemy Commander: Not yet.
    Enemy Underling: Sir, the allied forces are extremely pissed off, should we attack?
    Enemy Commander: Not yet.
    Enemy Underling: Sir, the allied forces are extremely happy and some appear inebriated, should we attack?
    Enemy Commander: ATTTTTAAAACK!!!!
  • How about that, they can do more then treat cancer patients (when I was diagnosed at 16 with synovial soft tissue sarcoma, Vanderbilt Universtity Medical Center Children's Hospital treated me).

  • Everyone is "anxious" in combat (Score:5, Interesting)

    by jayed_99 ( 267003 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @03:00AM (#4997180)
    Or, if not anxious, you're FUCKING SCARED SHITLESS! (Or bored off of your ass, but that part isn't pertinent to the rest of my conversation).

    People that don't experience anxiety or fear in combat are either (a) too stupid to know better...which means they'll probably be dead soon or (b) are probably clinically insane.

    Now, don't get me wrong -- combat is the most intense adrenaline rush that you can possibly experience. It's the real-world version of "fight or flight" over and over and over again. Continuously...for hours and days and weeks. And for some people, that adrenaline rush is enjoyable and addictive. But, as an avowed adrenaline junkie, combat is an adrenaline overdose.

    There is a military axiom "Train as you intend to fight". Military training is intended to ingrain patterns of behavior that soldiers will fall back on when their capacity for rational thought has been eroded by the stresses of combat. (I will not digress into a discussion of how that training is mostly centered around "how to kill and survive" rather that "how to comply with the Geneva convention and related accords" -- though that might explain why every army has a history of military atrocities).

    A computer assistant -- to be effective in combat -- would have to "learn" its user in situations equivalent to combat. If it didn't, it wouldn't react the same in actual combat. And, I assure you, no training simulation comes close to approaching combat. The combination of "If I make a mistake I will die" and "I am actually killing a person" and "I could randomly die no matter what the fuck I do" is not something that can be realistically duplicated outside of the experience. I would also like to point out that soldiers do *not* respond well to "things outside of normal training parameters". The general inclination is to "shoot it" or "evade detection while trying to decide if I should shoot it".

    So what we have is (a) a computer program that has "learned" its user in situations less than combat (b) a soldier that has "learned" preset responses to external stimuli -- including the computer. If you throw the soldier+computer into combat, the computer doesn't know how to react anymore -- not correctly anyway -- because it's never "learned" about combat. The soldier will tend to listen to the computer because that's what he's been trained to do...but the computer is going to be offering suboptimal advice/help/whatever...because it doesn't "know" about combat.

    There's definitely roles for computers on the battlefield. Trying to provide stress-relief is probably not one of them. Certainly it's an interesting idea. And one day, it might be plausible. But, now, it's not too feasible. I think that computing will have to evolve quite a bit more before battlefield assistants that monitor emotional states and provide feedback based on that emotional state are truly a force multiplier.

    • You make a good number of points here. But I'd say there is plenty of combat experience which includes interaction with computers with which to train/simulate combat experience with a computer.

      For example computers have been in aircraft since at least Vietnam. Then there's the computers which infantary soldiers have had since at least Somalia (that's the one I picked up on from the Discovery channel...certain units had backpacks with camera's and more usefull stuff), and who knows if there haven't been earlier instances.

      Computers have been going into battle for a long time; I'd say there's plenty of data to implement certain systems. I wouldn't want a computer to calm me down in combat either though.

      All I'd need are some 'danger' sunglasses: whenever I'm in danger, they'd turn black to make me feel safe :)

    • I'd say that you and a lot of other people seem to have missed the big major selling point, as well as some minor ones.

      1. If a soldier is unable to call for help, but needs it (such as laying unconscious with his blood decorating the countryside) the computer may sense an "abnormal" condition and call for help. Otherwise, he may die. He may die anyway, with or without medical attention, but this computer would increase his chances of survival and remaining in his own army by notifying the appropriate medical unit of his condition, and where he is.

      2. Casualties that need to be recovered can be prioritized in whatever fashion. It would be possible to "home in" on the most dangerously wounded and get them to aid first, because they're in the most dangerous situations.

      3. MIAs: He's missing in action, but we know he's alive. Or we know he's dead. Or we don't know because his unit has stopped transmitting, meaning either the unit is damaged or he's been captured. Secondary transmitters embedded within the soldier could give signal that the soldier is still alive but in distress.

      These are all very important issues to soldiers on the battlefield, their families at home, the citizens they're protecting (at least, we hope they're being employed to protect us), and the military they are serving.

      Detecting mood on the battlefield is more than just knowing how he's feeling, it's also knowing more about what's going on in a tactical perspective.

      1. In the command center a light flickers on near the battalion on the left wing showing *surprise*. This kind of data, while inconclusive, is *faster* than waiting for the comm personnel in the battalion to signal that they are under a surprise attack.

      2. The general is deciding whether or not to fight or retreat, and his instruments show an overwhelming amount of confidence from most of his troops. He decides to fight when he might have decided to retreat, and goes on to win what had been a hopeless battle. Granted there is a risk involved in this decision and I'm presenting the best case, but knowing how your troops view the battle can give your general a tactical advantage over the opposition.

      The article didn't say ANYTHING at all about these machines being a walking counselor trying to help the soldier to feel better. So, with that in mind, READ THE FUCKING ARTICLE.

  • "I can tell from the tone of your voice,
    Dave, that you're upset. Why don't you
    take a stress pill and get some rest."

    We could see it coming.

  • come on! (Score:2, Funny)

    by elixx ( 242653 )
    All I really want is a babelfish in my ear.
    I don't want a mood-sensing doohickey to get jealous!
    • If you're going to have DouglasAdamsWear, go for the right stuff, Peril-Sensitive Sunglasses that detect scary and potentially upsetting things and darken so you won't look at them.

      "Wouldn't you really rather go to the basement, RIGHT NOW, than up to the 15th floor? Thank you for making a humble elevator so very, very happy...."

  • On the battlefield (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Soldier: Aggghh!! They're trying to kill us!
    A1: Everything is fine, Dave.
    Soldier: Aghhhhhh!
    A1: Is there a problem with, they're trying to kill us, Dave?
    Soldier: help!
    A1: Everything is fine with regards to help, Dave.
    Soldier: We must get out of here!
    A1: Interesting. Tell me more about we must get out of here, Dave.

    • Merge the robot with the old Infocom parser and you get...

      Soldier: Aggghh!! They're trying to kill us!
      ICPR: Unknown word: aggghh!!
      Soldier: Aghhhhhh!
      ICPR: I don't understand Aghhhhhh!
      Soldier: help!
      ICPR: inv -inventory, look, verbose on/off...
      Soldier: We must get out of here!
      ICPR: Choices are N, S, W, E.

  • Yeah but is it real intelligence? (Score:5, Funny)

    by euxneks ( 516538 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @03:08AM (#4997205)
    soldier: AAAAGGH! My ARM HAS BEEN BLOWN OFF!!!
    robot: Your ARM HAS BEEN BLOWN OFF?
    soldier: YES!!!
    robot: What kind of arm is it??
    soldier: OH MY GOD THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE!
    robot: Yippee! Your GOD THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE?
    soldier: WHAT??!!! MY ARM!! MY ARM!!!
    robot: Where did you get your ARM?
    soldier: IT'S BEEN BLOWN OFF YOU STUPID PIECE OF SH*T!
    robot: Is it still BLOWN OFF me STUPID PIECE OF SH*T anymore?
    soldier faints from loss of blood
    soldier: uhhnnn...
    robot: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

  • Computer as Tool (Score:4, Insightful)

    by lostchicken ( 226656 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @03:09AM (#4997207)
    Whenever I read about projects that will alter the way my computer works to better fit what it thinks it needs, I pray that it will never grace my computer. I use my computer as a very, very powerful tool, and, like any good tool, I want it to do exactly what I say, even if it may seem that I am making a mistake. Don't do anything I didn't tell you to do.

    The 'mood' sensing properties of a computer system would be the worst kind of unwanted adaptation. It would change the way my computer works according to something I cannot always control fully. I want to be in control of my computer, so to do that, everything my computer does must be based on things in my control.
    • May your idea of a "computer" is just too limited. Your type of computer is that of a desktop tool, therefore you buy that kinda of computer.

      There are many groups and projects that want to make computers more than number crunchers, at some point maybe we'll have another name for those types. Such as how a calculator is not general called a computer anymore.

      I agree with what you're saying though, I like my desktop computer, I don't see this project for uses beyond speculation even in military. I think being given a robot companion for the battle field would be even more depressing.
  • C'mon, we all know what the real use of a mood-sensing computer is. Can you say ren'ai? That's dating / romance sim games for you Westerners!

    "Look, when I smile at Kimiko-chan, she smiles back..."

  • The new version of Windows... (Score:3, Funny)

    by VistaBoy ( 570995 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @03:21AM (#4997229)
    will probably use this mood sensor to detect if the user is pissed so that it simply refuses to show BSODs when that occur...or they'll make it so that when you're happy it shows yellow screens of death that say, "Have a nice day!"
  • I imagine a couple of white-coated lab workers dressing up some volunteer with probes, then standing back while Igor gets to work inducing anxiety in the subject...
  • Let me get this straight: I'm taking fire, in a trench or something, and I'm supposted to not feel anxiety? What part of a bunch of AK-weilding Afgans screaming at me is supposted to calm me down? Or is the sound of mortars hitting the ground 3 meters from me supposted to be soothing?

  • Self-contained battlefield drug delivery system? (Score:3, Interesting)

    by jgaynor ( 205453 ) <jon@nOSPAm.gaynor.org> on Thursday January 02, 2003 @03:28AM (#4997242) Homepage
    Not that this stinks, but this stinks of automated "liquid bravery/no-doze/morphine" delivery. It seems almost tailor-made to be part of an automated battlefield drug delivery system. It could fit into a small beltpack containing a pda sized circuit board, a few vials of specific drugs and a small motorized needle.

    -If a soldier, whom the pc knows is "on watch" starts to show signs of fatigue, the device automically injects some caffeine or even ephedra.

    -If a soldier gets an arm blown off in a trench far from a medic, the device could automatically inject morphine, or even a heavy coagulant to help his wound stop bleeding.

    Wonder which branch of the military Vanderbilt has been receiving its recent grants from :) ?
  • It'd be interesting to see if this thing acted in the interest of the individual soldier or the military unit.

    INFANTRY NODE #1
    It appears my human is overcome with
    anxiety

    MAINFRAME
    Okay, this is always a shame to have to
    do, but in the interest of the platoon
    pull the pin

    INFANTRY NODE #1
    Grenade pin pulled. Self destruct
    sequence initiated.

    INFANTRY NODE #2
    It appears my human is becoming "aroused"

    MAINFRAME:
    Neutralize horniness.

    INFANTRY NODE #2
    Intravenous bromide release initiated.

  • Combat Clippy (Score:5, Funny)

    by racerx509 ( 204322 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @03:31AM (#4997249) Homepage
    Clippy: It looks like you are bleeding to death. Would you like some help?

  • This is an absolutely horrible invention...Just think, before women only "thought" men were near emotionless pigs...Now they will have diffinitive proof...

    The one benfit is that, the machine that processes the information could probably be something like a Commador 64, since we tend to have so few emotional states...
  • ... but only if it can tell me when my wife wants to have sex!

  • fast forward (Score:3, Funny)

    by kcelery ( 410487 ) on Thursday January 02, 2003 @04:31AM (#4997368)
    The new generation VCD player should have a mood sensor connected to the fast-forward button.
  • e.g. when a soldier is overcome with anxiety

    Finally, a portable that automatically switches to prostitute mode whenever necessary.

  • I've detected that Microsoft Word has crashed, resulting in the loss of an estimated 4.5 hours of work. Would you like me to launch Counter-Strike?

  • I've noticed that the development of the sort of robots that we've seen in movies and TV shows is being done in piece-meal by lots of different groups. There's this group, a group working on facial expressions, several groups working on creating a functional and reliable biped model, some other groups working on conversational skills, several companies working on voice recognition, a few working on face recognition, etc. When all of this is put together and we have a fully functional robot, maybe not akin to Data but certainly something similar to the robots in Bubblegum Crisis 2040 (basically sentient construction workers) or Rockman/Megaman (robots that are clearly robots, but with a human shape and face), how many patents will it violate? 20? 40? 80? 150?

    I see the need for these specific aspects of humanoid or human-like robots to be concentrated on by dedicated groups with dedicated funding, rather than the entire thing being approached as a single project, but are we ever going to get an actual robot this way? Will these people ever be able to create the sort of functional and useful robot that they envision when they have to not only complete this specific project, but then build the entire rest of the robot themselves, using only their own research and development capabilities?

    And before someone mentions that a "robot" isn't necessarily something similar to a human being, please note that this project specifically requires something that can aid a human being emotionally and thus be able to be accepted by a human being as something other than a soulless machine, necessitating that it be something more human-like than a laptop with wheels and a speaker.
  • What dumb idea. Heck maybe a blood pressure gauge would be better - e.g. if I'm losing lots of blood, some drugs might help.

    If I were a soldier I'd prefer fancy gizmos that'll help me drastically alter the _enemy's_ mood.

    Passive battle gizmos I'd want (not weapons):
    1) high res ultrawideband radar
    2) passive IR/thermal + NV sensors (UV sensors might be good too - if it's possible to detect off-shelf detergent in battle camouflage)
    3) image/sound processing/recognition/location (help spot gun muzzles, detect location of sniper shots - e.g. crack-thump etc)
    4) ultrawideband coms - your teammates can "see" what you see, and can help triangulate unknown shots using their sensors.

    5) If you want something REALLY fancy, how about
    some system that can create a useful artificial metabolic pathway.

    e.g find a way to rapidly generate ATP for your muscles from alternative energy sources (e.g. petrol/diesel).

    Sprint till you run out of fuel. 300ml of petrol = approx 10 megajoules. Assuming sprinting = 1KW. Make that 5KW, assuming horrible conversion inefficiencies and overheads ( power used for artificial cooling, breaking down lactic acid, etc). You could still theoretically sprint for 2000 seconds or till something breaks or you get taken down (whichever comes first).

    Heck even being able to max sprint for only 5 minutes can be very useful tactically.

    As for nonhuman intelligence, give me a war dog anytime. Highly recommended.

  • Oh great, when used with Windows... (Score:2, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward
    Windows has detected that your mood has changed, press OK to reboot.

  • Great! (Score:4, Funny)

    by JohnnyBigodes ( 609498 ) <morphine@@@digitalmente...net> on Thursday January 02, 2003 @07:27AM (#4997641)
    It'll be really good when I start to get pissed off at the computer and it then decides to work fine withouth any further questions because it saw me waving a 15Kg iron mallet

  • [computer]: I see you are browsing RealDoll's website [realdoll.com] again. I sense you are horny. Would you like me to open a frame with low interest loan vendors listed so you can afford a RealDoll?

    [computer]: Ah. now you're looking at goatse.cx [goatse.cx] again. I sense you're feeling experimental. Would you a new window open with a list of local transgendered dominatrixs?

    [computer]: uh.. I see you're looking at buying a new computer. I sense you are fed up..

  • An adaptive computer interface which dynamically changes based on fear-level may be useful.

    Special situations call for special tools. Even in Star Trek (TOG) they have tactical display modes when the ship enters combat.

    A heads-up display may typically consume a good portion of the soldiers cognitive and visual capability, displaying squads current location, patrol path, intelligence updates, and other information simultaneously. When the shit hits the fan, the display could automatically change to a reduced information mode with Friendly vs Foe overlays, air support options, etc.

    As the solider becomes more engaged in reality, the cognitive load could be minimized and the heads up display optimized to survivial in close combat situations.

    Of course, I'm pulling these examples out of my but. Not being a soldier, I can only imagine what heads-up utility would be useful in combat, but keep in mind that most first-person shooters have peripheral displays containing foe-friend radar, weapon magazine loads, and other combat-helpful data.

    Of course, a simple tactical mode button would work just as well...

  • Some people are more Mercurial than others.

    I wonder what it would make of some kids I know either on Prozac and/or on a SugarPops buzz?
  • Why on earth would the military need a robotic assistant on the battlefield? Especially one who responds to the moods of the 'master'?

    "I am sorry sir, I can't allow you to arm that grenade due to the anger you hold from your recent divorce..."

    I think they should reveal the real reason for the research instead of using the military in order to gain funding from some grant or federal cash flow.

    --wal
  • Why when reading this was I immediately reminded of Marvin the cronically depressed robot of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? Must be that pain in all the diodes down my left side.
  • Ok, say a guy is in the midst of a furious, raging battle, and this highly expensive gadget senses that his breathing, heart rate and bp are all elevated (duh). It says, "You seem stressed, is there anything I can do?" The guy says, "I want my mommy," or whatever you would normally say in this situation. So what does the thing do? Radio for help? Project a hologram of Marina Sirtis? Seems like the situation would call for something simpler, like a lapel-mounted PANIC button that lights up a blip on somebody's battle board. I'm sorry, but I go along with the guy who said the last thing he would want in battle is a girlfriend asking how he was feeling.
  • A virtual drill instructor embedded in your kevlar helmet:

    Sgt. Bot: Private! My sensors tell me you just crapped all inside your BDU trousers! Your CO just ordered you to move forward and take that machine gun emplacement! So get moving you worthless pile of camel spit!! What kind of tea party playing, prissyboy, pantywaste are you anyway?! You want to stay here in this foxhole and play grabass with Private Wexler, don't ya?! I'll bet you didn't think I could tell every time your tiny little pencil dick gets hard! Did ya?! Now pick up that weapon and get your goat smellin' ass a' low crawling across that field, you low life maggot!!!

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