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Microsoft's New Smart Bra Could Stop You From Over Eating

samzenpus posted 1 year,9 days | from the cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-diet dept.

Input Devices 299

walterbyrd writes "A team of engineers at Microsoft Research have developed a high-tech bra that's intended to monitor women's stress levels and dissuade them from emotional over-eating. The undergarment has sensors that track the user's heart rate, respiration, skin conductance and movement — all of which can indicate the type of stressful emotions that lead to over-eating, according to Microsoft researchers. The data is sent to a smartphone app, which then alerts users about their mood."

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shut up you stupid app (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635527)

I'm hungry!

Re:shut up you stupid app (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635589)

Thank god the project manager and senior researchers are women.

Can you imagine the backlash from the feminist community should a man be anywhere near the top of a project focused on getting women to eat less?

Re:shut up you stupid app (2)

Cryacin (657549) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635955)

I'm just waiting for the smart bro

Re:shut up you stupid app (2)

narcc (412956) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636213)

Manzier!

Re:shut up you stupid app (1)

binarylarry (1338699) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636409)

Over the shoulder bro-ulder holder!

Re:shut up you stupid app (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636181)

Are they Asian? If so it could be a trick.

What the fuck! My captcha is condom, I guess it knows as well.

Re:shut up you stupid app (5, Funny)

ozmanjusri (601766) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635701)

I'm hungry!

Hi, I'm your bra assistant. It looks like you are hungry. Would you like some diet advice?
(o) Yes (o) no.

At least that'd explain Clippy's pervert-on-the-playground look...

Re:shut up you stupid app (3, Funny)

EdIII (1114411) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635987)

Dude... I'm dying over here.

That would be the perfect user interface design for such a device. Nipple.Navigation(tm)

Re:shut up you stupid app (4, Funny)

gorehog (534288) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636265)

Gives a whole new meaning to TouchPoint.

Re:shut up you stupid app (2)

gorehog (534288) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636261)

Squeeze left for yes, right to cancel.

Re:shut up you stupid app (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636421)

Well hello, my name is Clippy!

I really like the way you turn me on!

Grrrrrrrowwwwow!

Re:shut up you stupid app (1)

SuperTechnoNerd (964528) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636241)

Does it work on man tits?

Re:shut up you stupid app (2)

dimeglio (456244) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636475)

I'm sure they do. They were probably designed with Ballmer in mind.

The blue tits of death. (5, Funny)

quonsar (61695) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635529)

Time to reboob.

Re:The blue tits of death. (1)

Hsien-Ko (1090623) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635657)

Nothing wrong with that....

Re:The blue tits of death. (1)

sudo (194998) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635775)

more like blue nipples of death.

Re:The blue tits of death. (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635795)

Never thought Microsoft Support would be uplifting.

Re:The blue tits of death. (1)

smitty_one_each (243267) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635807)

Sags you very much.

Not only that (2)

smitty_one_each (243267) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635801)

. . .we're talking Ballmer's hands on your flesh, by proxy.
Might not be a bad thing if you're Mrs. Ballmer, but, otherwise. . .

Re:The blue tits of death. (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636201)

Mann, we told you again and again not to chocke your girl...

Re:The blue tits of death. (0)

girlintraining (1395911) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636433)

Time to reboob.

What's surprising is that nobody here thinks this is an inherently sexist device. Don't men suffer from overeating as well? What about a jock strap that monitors them? Eating disorders are not strictly a female problem, and technology that is unisex has, at least in my experience, fared far better in the market place. How successful has Microsoft been at developing a computer "for women"? It hasn't been. It's a terrible and stupid idea; just like designing a car "for women" has been in that industry.

Attaching the device to a bra would be alright, but integrating it into it pretty much spells its doom on the market. About the only thing that's marketed to women I buy besides clothing is deodorant... because for some very strange reason, men seem to enjoy smelling like they swam through a high school chemistry lab's discarded waste.

Re:The blue tits of death. (5, Funny)

gorehog (534288) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636459)

Maybe it's just easiest to detect emotional distress in women's breasts? Maybe it's harder to find a place on a male body that gives the same feedback that is already in contact with a piece of clothing? This might just be the low-hanging fruit.

Yes. I typed that.

They really know the geek market (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635545)

Many of us guys that visit Slashdot could use a bra. Too bad it doesn't run Linux.

Re:They really know the geek market (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635659)

stuff a raspberry pi into it

Re:They really know the geek market (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635719)

My problem is that using Windows 8 tends to bunch up my panties.

Seinfeld: The Bro, aka the Manssiere (2)

theodp (442580) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635737)

Frank: "You want me to wear a bra?" Kramer: "No. A bra is for ladies. Meet...the Bro [wikia.com] ." Maybe Bill Gates can get licensing rights for Microsoft from his pal Jerry Seinfeld [youtube.com] . :-)

Re:They really know the geek market (1)

gorehog (534288) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636273)

Yep, well, if you're a guy wearing a bra then you know you already need to stop eating.

Re:They really know the geek market (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636425)

Many of us guys that visit Slashdot could use a bra. Too bad it doesn't come with a woman already inside it.

FTFY

Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming market (5, Insightful)

tylikcat (1578365) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635555)

I'm actually pretty amused by the sensor rigged bra - heck, I wear a bra to run in anyway, way better than a separate heart rate monitor. Though no proprietary MS crap for me ;-) (Can't imagine they provide decent support, y'know?)

But it seems horribly tone deaf to decide to put their sensors in a bra, and then make the whole thing be about dieting. Please folks, try not to be assholes.

They're not being assholes! (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635763)

Damn it to hell.

Fat shreds memory and cognitive function, in often imperceptible ways but the effects do build over time. It increases an individual's chances of acquiring diabetes, heart disease and a number of other maladies. It is responsible for increased fatigue and reduces the efficacy of the immune system. People suffering from obesity, and that term applies much sooner than most would like it to, tend to be less productive, cost their family and employers more, and die sooner.

No, it is not appropriate to attempt shame someone over it. No, it is not justifiable to treat the individual as less than any other. This I am most decidedly against. However, fat is not something to be "accepted" as if it were a lifestyle choice; even if the war is never won, the individual should always fight. Regardless of the origin, be it stress, overeating, hormone imbalance, etc. Fat is something to fight. It is a medical condition and infinitely treatable.

It's one thing when a man, or woman, is bound to a wheelchair for life due to a condition one cannot correct from birth or from an injury or from disease. It would be quite another if that man, or woman, is bound to a wheelchair because they refused to do the physical therapy. I mean, we would all give the person their space after whatever event brought them to that point. We would all give them time. But at some point, you would lose respect for them, wouldn't you? Their apathy would be off-putting. Now imagine they wanted you to "just accept it".

The individual who is fighting deserves all the respect the individual who has won should receive. I would never grant the individual who refuses to fight that and nor should you. As for the fight, this bra is simply a tool to aid, in however limited way it may, that battle. It is not fat shaming. They're trying to help; they're not being assholes.

I say this as someone who has spent a lifetime fighting, and my war rages on.

Re:They're not being assholes! (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635847)

"Fat is something to fight. "

...Might I recommend ketosis?

Re:They're not being assholes! (-1, Flamebait)

Khyber (864651) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636427)

Then you die of cancer triggered by the raised levels of acetone in your body.

Re:They're not being assholes! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635879)

Thank you for being a voice of reason over the "It'z not teh open sources?!??!?!" fucktard.
 
I'm sick of Slashfucks acting like their take on a company should somehow invalidate the need or usefulness of certain technologies. People like tylikcat are the enemies of progressive technology if it's not branded by a company that appeals to their pseudo-geek outlook.
 
Most people really don't understand what they're doing to themselves with food and this is why we have a weight problem. The more informed a person can be the better the chance that they'll fall in line with healthier habits. I don't give a fuck what company produces it, this is a fantastic use of the technology that we have at hand.

Re:They're not being assholes! (4, Informative)

tylikcat (1578365) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636171)

I was a software engineer at Microsoft from 1995-2002. So while my comments are indeed biased (and really, the first four years were an awful lot of fun, even if I did have to work with windows, but it is not a work experience I would want to return to) they also reflect a fair bit of personal experience.

But more the point, the potential product, as presented, isn't useful to me. Might be to other people, can't speak for them. I find the idea of an instrumented bra interesting. (Or, rather, instruments that would attach to an existing bra. I'm picky about my bras, and they have to hold up to running and martial arts.) The app they're using it for? Not so much.

For me to be interested in it, I would want access to the raw data, and to be able to hack it. I don't pretend my case is likely to be that common. But without those features, meh. There are hackable heartrate monitors available, and that'll do more of what I care about.

Re:They're not being assholes! (5, Insightful)

tylikcat (1578365) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635951)

The being assholes bit is presenting this in a way exclusively aimed at women when women already face a great deal more scrutiny over their physical appearances (and much higher rates of eating disorders and the like). The sensor suite isn't the problem. I can even see the bra-mount as being useful, because hey, men aren't already wearing a strap around their chests. (And as I said, it has struck me as kind of annoying that a heart rate monitor is an additional strap around my chest when I am already wearing at least one.)

But the presentation is hugely tone deaf, in that it plays into existing stereotypes in harmful ways. You remember being told that computers could be for women too - hey, I bet you could keep recipes on one, right? (Or perhaps that was before your time.) If you're going to make a product aimed at helping people not stress eat, for heaven's sake don't make it only for women. Especially considering all the pressure for women to stay thin specifically so they look good for men (as opposed to for reasons of health.) It might be assholery through cluelessness, but it's still assholery.

Re:They're not being assholes! (4, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636055)

FTFA: "Czerwinski explained that her team tried to develop an underwear version for men, but it didn’t end up working because underwear is located too far away from the heart."
 
Thanks for reading, asshole.

Re:They're not being assholes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636307)

I assume you're referring to meal-master? http://episoft.home.comcast.net/~episoft/

No, you're tone deaf. (3, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636349)

How the hell are you being tagged as insightful? You whine - and yes it is a whine - that they are being assholes because they dared to release a female-specific product to help women manage their weight when women face an image problem and yet, you so devalue why they did it.

Here's the tone: they are trying to help. Again: they are trying to help. The keyword here is help. Whether or not the product is gender specific is irrelevant. Whether or not there is an image problem out there or not is irrelevant. What is relevant is whether this is a tool that will help people manage their weight and it is.

They're taking advantage of what's available. In this case, women wear bras. It's a way to make the monitoring invisible. It's a way to not single anyone out. You say, "for heaven's sake don't only make it for women", so you would rather they not use the fact that most women wear bras in order to aid the health of women? You would rather discard any tool that would by its very nature have to be gender specific, because it was gender specific? If not, what the hell are you saying?

As for the image problem. I'm well aware of it. But God almighty, more are dying by not doing anything about their weight than those over-correcting by orders of magnitude.

Here is how women died in 2010:
http://www.cdc.gov/women/lcod/2010/index.htm

You won't find eating disorders or poor self esteem. This is not to say that these aren't serious issues, but the means to do so is certainly not ignoring weight. (Which plays a HUGE role in the number one killer of women, heart disease.)

Re:They're not being assholes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636373)

... If you're going to make a product aimed at helping people not stress eat, for heaven's sake don't make it only for women. Especially considering all the pressure for women to stay thin specifically so they look good for men (as opposed to for reasons of health.) It might be assholery through cluelessness, but it's still assholery.

Yes, how wrong of them to only target those that have proven vanity (driven by individual or society) is the highest amongst all creatures on this planet.

Ironically, your own response says volumes as to exactly why they targeted women, but I suppose I should be all up on arms when I walk into Sephora because those clueless bitches only carry a handful of items targeted for men. How fucking rude.

And if you're staying thin to only appease men, well then you've got bigger issues to contend with. That's shit that little girls do. I want a woman who goes to the gym and maintains a healthy body for themselves. Attracting men should be a side effect to that, not the main goal.

Grow up.

Re:They're not being assholes! (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636439)

... Especially considering all the pressure for women to stay thin specifically so they look good for men (as opposed to for reasons of health.)...

As a man I'd like to dispute this point. I highly doubt there are many men who would prefer the skeleton thin women that Hollywood and the fashion industry pushes onto us. Men want a woman, not a tub of lard, but not a boy-like walking matchstick. I much prefer, say, Scarlet Johanssen or Jennifer Love Hewitt, even if they put on a few pounds, than someone like Miley Cyrus or Keira Knightley or Natalie Portman. Blech. When I look at magazine covers at checkout lines, rarely do I go "mmm", most of the time I go "eww". My choice of wife reflects that :). For true male ideals of female attractiveness, perhaps it's best to look at porn stars instead of movie stars :) I don't think you'll find many successful anorexic pornstars, but quite a few buxom ones.

From man to woman, can I ask this: Is it men who pressure women to stay thin, or is it actually other women? Is it how women keep score, similar how to men compare wallets? I've read somewhere that women dress up and put on makeup not for men, but for other women. Is "thinness" the same?

Re:They're not being assholes! (1)

gorehog (534288) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636279)

"Fat shreds memory and cognitive function"

Can you cite a source for this?

Re:They're not being assholes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636305)

Can you cite a source for this?

Again? I already told you, like, five minutes ago.

Re:They're not being assholes! (1)

gorehog (534288) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636471)

Ha. Ha. I'm serious though. I'm wondering if my obesity is really affecting my cognitive functions.

Re:Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming mark (2)

fermion (181285) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635881)

You know vibrators were invented, the official story goes, because women would get hysterical and one way doctors would treat it would be to manually stimulate the woman to orgasm. Presumably men in the habit of paying amateurs to do so. The vibrator was then a labor saving device.

From this one would assume that if women are overeating because of stress, the some sort of stress sensing panties are in order. Stimulation can automatically be applied and relieve the stress.

Re:Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming mark (1)

pspahn (1175617) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635939)

...because women would get hysterical...

I see what you did there.

Re:Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming mark (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635943)

maybe microsoft will finally get something right

Re:Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming mark (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635949)

There is stuff out there like this already. Durex is working on it.

Re:Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming mark (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635953)

You're the asshole. A self righteous asshole.

Re:Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming mark (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636225)

Damn corporations, pushing products and lifestyles that make people fat!

Damn corporations, pushing products and lifestyles that make people nonfat!

Re:Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming mark (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636229)

I'm actually pretty amused by the sensor rigged bra - heck, I wear a bra to run in anyway, way better than a separate heart rate monitor. Though no proprietary MS crap for me ;-) (Can't imagine they provide decent support, y'know?)

But it seems horribly tone deaf to decide to put their sensors in a bra, and then make the whole thing be about dieting. Please folks, try not to be assholes.

Would you have preferred a body cavity instead? Perhaps your mouth would have been a more ideal place for Microsoft to insert their tech.

Much like heart rate monitors by other vendors, bras are not some sort of new perverted idea to monitor heart rate and stress levels.

And it's ironic that a guy has to tell a woman to get their mind out of the gutter.

Re:Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming mark (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636321)

How is offering a service equal to being an asshole? If you don't want to be alerted of your mood, don't buy the damn device. It isn't mandatory, Microsoft won't send a squad of mercenaries to force you to buy it.
And it isn't "shaming" at all, it sends the alert to your phone, not to everyone's you dumb fuck.

Re:Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming mark (2)

turning in circles (2882659) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636335)

Good point about Microsoft not known for providing decent support.

Sports bra heart rate monitors are old hat, you can even get them on Amazon [amazon.com] . Comments show that they provide great support even for large chested ladies, and are thin enough your nipples still show through.

I'm not sure I would wear a bra that told me I was overeating. I am thinking that one would stay in the closet, especially when I felt most like overeating.

Re:Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming mark (1)

Beryllium Sphere(tm) (193358) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636453)

To amplify the thought, they could have pitched it for fitness and activity monitoring, or to identify what times of day are causing stress without being particularly noticed.

Re:Microsoft enters the lucrative fat shaming mark (2)

Barny (103770) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636463)

You aren't thinking the 'next step' in this.

Bra as a service
The best support you could hope for, exactly when you need it.

Of course, MS would need to really work on their support, the few times I have had to contact them for real tech issues, they have wanted to charge me before I could even leave a bug report.

And for the Facebook Stalkers (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635575)

And for a price, Microsoft will let you look on googlemaps for GPS signals and sort by cup sizes.

I can just see it... (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635591)

"Mam, I'm not sure how to put this, but...your breasts are acting rather erratically at the moment..."
"Ugh, not again. I'm wearing a Microsoft bra. It has to be restarted every few hours or strange things happen."

Re:I can just see it... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635845)

*Sigh*...it just isn't funny anymore as we all know Linux is the one which crashes more these days... :-/

Headline requires an explanation (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635597)

How is this going to stop (the Slashdot reader) from over eating?

What about the bro/manssiere version? (4, Funny)

MrEricSir (398214) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635601)

Steve Ballmer could model it.

A hack that pays! (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635607)

"Your current mood: horny. Why don't you try fucking that guy in the sunglasses in the corner?"

I know, sounds juvenile. But if people are going to let their GPS apps lead them onto airport runways, you never know...

Re:A hack that pays! (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635971)

"Bra, rank the men in this room by income and indicate the highest earner."
"Working. ... The barista is the highest earning man."
"Damn! Why did I come to a coffee shop full of losers."
"Insufficient data."
"Bra, indicate the highest earner in this room."
"Working. ... The highest earner is the woman in the red dress."
"Income?"
"$80000."
"Bra, am I still horny?"
"Affirmative."
"What the hell, she is kinda cute....."

Title Pedant (2)

hedgemage (934558) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635663)

I'm really curious how a bra will stop me (a man) from over eating. Maybe the title (lol, tit) should be "Microsoft's New Smart Bra Could Stop Women From Overeating".

Re:Title Pedant (2)

lakeland (218447) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635693)

It could stop you from over-eating. You might happen to choose not to wear one for various reasons, such as an A cup being too big and thereby making it uncomfortable.

However I don't see why the title is inaccurate just because you are not interested

Re:Title Pedant (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635723)

if you have over eating problem already you could probably fit one of the smaller cup sizes

Re:Title Pedant (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635773)

Sheer embarrassment?

Re:Title Pedant (1)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635839)

Well, nicotine patches can stop people from smoking . . . so maybe someone just needs to invent "food patches" . . . ? You know, just peel of the back paper, stick it on your shoulder, and the patch oozes some goo into you that makes you feel like you just gorged yourself on a deep-fried turkey. In bras, of course.

Maybe the hardware in the Microsoft bra gives you electric shocks that create the same gorged feeling?

Hmmm . . . do you really want to use the word "Micro" when talking about something for a female's tits . . . ? It might be taken in the wrong way. I'm not quite sure about the "soft" part either.

Wouldn't it work better... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635675)

if it offered tactile feedback instead of beaming data to a smart phone?

You know, when it goes outside of the established parameters it shocks the user...

clippy returns as a qualified nutritionist (1)

John Allsup (987) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635713)

it looks like you're eating a doughnut...

your is mood is a system error has occurred (1)

Joe_Dragon (2206452) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635777)

place press your boobs to reboot.

Wrong fundamental assumption (4, Informative)

Okian Warrior (537106) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635887)

The fundamental problem with this is that overeating doesn't cause obesity.

Some recent scientific results (*) have clarified obesity, and are completely at odds with every "common knowledge" explanation. The bad news is that we don't know what causes obesity and there's nothing anyone can do [currently] to combat it. The good news is that it's not related to a) what you eat(**) b) how much you eat, c) your willpower, d) genetics, or e) exercise.

Relax, it's not your fault.

In the current model the digestive system presents a river of nutrients, from which the body takes what it needs to maintain a specific weight.The body has a set-point in the manner of a thermometer for how much nutrition to take in, and something in the environment disturbs this set-point(***), resulting in obesity. There is strong statistical evidence that this is not related to the amount or type of food eaten(*) (within dietary reason) or the level of exercise. Over 700 possible factors have been suggested, including Bisphenol-A [wikipedia.org] in packaging, estrogenic compounds [wikipedia.org] in the environment, and water fluoridation [wikipedia.org] .

Your diet worked for you, and that's great; however, it didn't fix your obesity(***): something you did along with the diet changed the environment and your body regained a normal set-point. For this reason, no diet is universal: it's happenstance.

Exercise isn't what fixed your obesity. Again, nothing related to nutrition (within obvious limits) or exercise is the cause of obesity. Something else is at play. Whether exercise is good for you is a different issue; it's just not the cause of your obesity.

Modeling your body as a thermodynamic system sounds logical and "makes sense", but without actually going into starvation it's not the correct description of the problem. You can burn many calories simply by sleeping with fewer covers (more than you can by exercising), but your body will simply take more from the stream. This won't affect your obesity.

* Modern-day laboratory animals are fat [aeon.co] , despite having the same diet and exercise as lab animals raised in previous decades. Statistically, the trend is very strong.

** A nutritional balance is necessary (of course). Whether junk food is good for you is a separate issue; however, it's not the cause of your obesity.

*** The difference in caloric intake between normal and obese is about 30 calories/day (about 3 peanut M&Ms), which is roughly 1% of your daily nutritional needs. No diet has this level of resolution, no diet can be this accurate by measuring servings without taking into account the condition of the serving (ie - chicken fattier than average, veggies drier than average, &c.)

Re:Wrong fundamental assumption (5, Informative)

Okian Warrior (537106) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635967)

Scientific paper referenced is here [nih.gov] .

Along with a table [nih.gov] and chart [nih.gov] of the increases.

Re:Wrong fundamental assumption (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636173)

The fundamental problem with this is that overeating doesn't cause obesity.

Some recent scientific results (*) have clarified obesity, and are completely at odds with every "common knowledge" explanation. The bad news is that we don't know what causes obesity and there's nothing anyone can do [currently] to combat it. The good news is that it's not related to a) what you eat(**) b) how much you eat, c) your willpower, d) genetics, or e) exercise.

Actually... it's totally and completely related to what you eat and your genetics. Will power and excercise are pretty wimpy tools against eating food that's wrong for your blood type.

Only way of choosing food that I've seen work for everyone who's applied it correctly (The book is wrong and outdated) and has worked downright miracles with the truly sick I've run into as well.

Choose your foods according to your blood type and you'll automatically drop/gain to the general 'average' weight for your size.

Now you know. :)

Re:Wrong fundamental assumption (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636253)

It's funny then that a whole TV show like The Biggest Loser (granted, not a very good one) can be based around making obese people lose weight by increasing the amount they exercise and decreasing their intake of calories. Every season, without fail, they achieve drastic weight loss based on those two factors alone, so it's really a stretch to claim that they aren't very strong factors in weight loss. I know there's a growing trend of pretending what people do to their bodies will have no effect on their weight, but it's simply not true.

Re:Wrong fundamental assumption (3, Interesting)

schnell (163007) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636423)

Some recent scientific results (*) have clarified obesity, and are completely at odds with every "common knowledge" explanation. The bad news is that we don't know what causes obesity and there's nothing anyone can do [currently] to combat it. The good news is that it's not related to a) what you eat(**) b) how much you eat, c) your willpower, d) genetics, or e) exercise.

I have not done a scientific study, but I am pretty sure that if I eat three Denny's meals per day and do no exercise, I will become obese. I know some obese people, and I can verify that their caloric intake vs. mine (minus exercise) does not net out to 30 calories per day.

If that's not the case, please let me know... I am tired of cardio and would be interested in partaking in their forthcoming Hobbit-themed breakfasts if there's no relationship to weight gain. ;-)

Ahh I remember (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635899)

I remember the days of twin floppies.

As Number 5 said "Nice Firmware"

an app? (1)

BringsApples (3418089) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635901)

It's amazing how our brains are evolved over millions of years to make sense, and yet some will look for any excuse not to use it. If they treat their own brain this way, why would they honor an app?

April Fools Day? (1)

endoboy (560088) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635911)

OK, they're off by a few months, but my first reaction to the headline was definitely "clearly, this is a joke...."

The name of that product is ... (2)

140Mandak262Jamuna (970587) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635923)

!Binge

riiiight... (1)

Rastarn (3457463) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635957)

So Microsoft's new slogan is "No fat chicks!"?

Re:riiiight... (1)

Pharoah_69 (2866937) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636037)

When are they going to come out with a Smart Bra to increase a woman's breasts to DD or bigger? or Smart Ass app to make a woman's butt firm?

Too late (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636185)

The fat chicks already have DD's. They're buried in the size 48 wastlines and "oh my god the humanity!" hips.

No it cant! (1)

dohzer (867770) | 1 year,9 days | (#45635981)

The Smart Bra can't stop me over eating. The Smart Bro or the Intelligent Manssiere probably could.

And this helps....how? (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45635995)

OK, so, I'm an emotional mess and my boobs are telling me not to eat while the rest of me is saying the complete opposite.

I'm totally going to not eat!

Who thinks of this stuff?

How this will end up (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636047)

Apple will introduce an iBra that you can automatically unclip with an expensive iPhone app only.

Microsoft will then introduce a Windows Bra that is functional but unexciting, and be slightly irritating to operate.

An open source Linux powered bra will subsequently be developed, but it will take so long to fiddle with until you achieve the desired result that you end up forgetting what your goal was in the first place.

Yaaaaaawn. How useless and boring. (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636075)

First it's an endless parade of diets and pills by doctors on weight loss...

Now it's micro$haft with a cutesy but ultimately worthless electronic gadget for wightloss. Wait... does this mean they're getting out of the software biz??

lol

Jolt to the nips (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636085)

Nothing like a jolt of electricity to the nips to convince someone to put down that tub of ice-cream.

Unless they're into that sort of thing, of course.

Geeks rejoice. The technology has been found! (1)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636093)

Microsoft employees found a way to finally touch some breasts!

This just confirms that... (0)

Suiggy (1544213) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636113)

All women are a mindless, vapid, weak-willed whores who need to be told what to do.

Re:This just confirms that... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636141)

I read that as "horses" and was offended because horses have been dependably useful throughout much of human history, women much less so

Re:This just confirms that... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636189)

Youre right. Its your mothers fault you exist to post here.

Re:This just confirms that... (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636313)

At least I can afford a keyboard that has a working ' key.

A window into your gut (1)

tchdab1 (164848) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636119)

In other news, Microsoft is marketing a line of edibles ("Blue Food") and an app that will tell you when to eat it.

UI? (4, Funny)

the eric conspiracy (20178) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636199)

So is this going to have a touch interface?

Too late (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636275)

I wish they'd developed something like this before I needed a bra.

Moobies (1)

McGruber (1417641) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636319)

"A team of engineers at Microsoft Research have developed a high-tech bra that's intended to monitor women's stress levels and dissuade them from emotional over-eating.

Actually, the team's original idea was to monitor the CEO's excitement levels and dissuade him from dancing..... so they created the "Bramer".

Then marketing got ahold of it.

Talk about NSA data gathering.... (1)

gorehog (534288) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636331)

Micro$oft finding new data to provide to the NSA. You know...I wonder if they're monitoring all that bluetooth enabled heart rate data out there?

A way to increase sales of Windows phones (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636405)

If I'm having an argument with someone or am in some other similar stressful situation, the last thing I want is for my phone to alert me and tell me that I'm in a bad mood.

I imagine sales of replacement phones will skyrocket when people start throwing their Windows phones in fits of anger.

Supprt (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636411)

Finally, Microsoft supports their customers properly.

We have a winner (0)

Anonymous Coward | 1 year,9 days | (#45636461)

A team of engineers at Microsoft Research have developed a high-tech bra that's intended to monitor women's stress levels

THIS is the hottest IT job for interns.

Doesn't sound effective. (1)

roc97007 (608802) | 1 year,9 days | (#45636473)

Incorporate a taser in the garment, then you've got something.

"My boyfriend broke up with me. By email. Hand me that carton of chunky monkey..." KZERRRRK

"Here's your ice cream. Um, are you ok? Why do you smell like burning latex?"

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