Webcast Funerals Growing More Popular 70
HughPickens.com writes: Lex Berko reports in The Atlantic that although webcasting has been around since the mid-1990s, livestreamed funerals have only begun to go mainstream in the last few years. The National Funeral Directors Association has only this year introduced a new funeral webcasting license that permits funeral homes to legally webcast funerals that include copyrighted music. The webcast service's growing appeal is, by all accounts, a result of the increasing mobility of modern society. Remote participation is often the only option for those who live far away or have other barriers — financial, temporal, health-related — barring them from attending a funeral. "It's not designed to replace folks attending funerals," says Walker Posey. "A lot of folks just don't live where their family grew up and it's difficult to get back and forth."
But some funeral directors question if online funerals are helpful to the grieving process and eschew streaming funerals live because they do not want to replace a communal human experience with a solitary digital one. What happens if there's a technical problem with the webcast — will we grieve even more knowing we missed the service in person and online? Does webcasting bode well for the future of death acceptance, or does it only promote of our further alienation from that inevitable moment? "The physical dead body is proof of death, tangible evidence that the person we love is gone, and that we will someday be gone as well," says Caitlin Doughty, a death theorist and mortician. "To have death and mourning transferred online takes away that tangible proof. What is there to show us that death is real?"
But some funeral directors question if online funerals are helpful to the grieving process and eschew streaming funerals live because they do not want to replace a communal human experience with a solitary digital one. What happens if there's a technical problem with the webcast — will we grieve even more knowing we missed the service in person and online? Does webcasting bode well for the future of death acceptance, or does it only promote of our further alienation from that inevitable moment? "The physical dead body is proof of death, tangible evidence that the person we love is gone, and that we will someday be gone as well," says Caitlin Doughty, a death theorist and mortician. "To have death and mourning transferred online takes away that tangible proof. What is there to show us that death is real?"
Re:I hate funerals for a friend (Score:5, Informative)
Get used to it, you'll have more of them as you get older.
One thing I hadn't really thought about before my mother-in-law's funeral was that, if you die when you're old, most of the people at your funeral other than your family will also be old - mobility and transportation were difficult for some of her friends, there were more people with wheelchairs than the restaurant we went to afterward really knew how to handle, and there were people who didn't come because it's just too difficult, and this might have helped them some. It's not the same as being there, but sometimes you can't.
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Get used to it, you'll have more of them as you get older.
I got that covered buddy. I am not planning to get older. "Paging, Dr Kevorkian... Dr Kevorkian... customer needs assistance in departure lounge ... Dr Kevorkian..."
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I got that covered buddy. I am not planning to get older.
Are you STILL alive? If so, then so much for your 'plans'. You GOT older, like it or not.
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My girlfriend couldn't go to her grandfather's funeral in China, so the family made a DVD and had it sent to her. There are companies in China who specialize in filming funerals and making them into DVDs for relatives overseas.
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...and grown-ups will remember "Funeral for a Friend" and "Love Lies Bleeding" as two songs from Elton John's 1973 Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.
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Ebola (Score:1)
They should webcast the funerals in Ebola countries so the relatives don't go around kissing the dead person at the funeral.
"Death theorist" (Score:1)
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sorry, no. it's not "incidental"
It is being played on purpose [the music is specifically selected and played at specific times] AND it is a public performance. Particularly if it's webcast. Nevermind that it is being "broadcast" by a [generally, for-profit] company, the funeral home.
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Regardless, I'm not having any funeral, so don't care a lot about what the embalmers want to do.
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For friends and family, I want to be there. (Score:3)
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How is this any different than saying goodbye when they are alive?
My uncle recently passed from Parkinson's and he had his death on Skype...
Yes, that is correct, his last few hours on this earth were streamed over a Skype call. I thought it was a good way for family to say goodbye to him though and he said mumblingly that it felt like most of the family was there in his final hours, which was his final request. The Skype thing really helped get more people "there", particularly the ones unable to fly to him
This is a brilliant idea! (Score:2)
This is a brilliant idea!
More webcasts should have funerals, so we can bury them and move on, and there will be one less webcast!
Funerals are already disconnected from reality (Score:1)
I don't know if it's different outside North America, but try to count the number of funerals you've been to - and then how many of those were open-casket. As a society the mere sight of death has become so fearsome a feat to overcome that most families opt out of showing off the body and granting those visiting the funeral proper closure.
"Oh, s/he is dead? Well, nothing to see, I guess I'll just have to take your word for it. Wish I could have at least said goodbye face-to-face."
It's death. One of the few
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And an embalmed corpse that's been gone over by morticians to ensure it's presentable is any more "real"?
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Good point. The visibility of death has been completely abstracted away. The most anybody sees now is the few minutes hospital staff barely allow before forcing you out of the room. What pisses me off more than the joke that funerals have become is how family is treated in a hospital. The basic grieving process is removed, as you're not even permitted any decent amount of time with the body. Your right to grieve no longer exists.
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I don't know, I've been to two funerals (well, there was a third, but I was so small I don't remember it), and out of those two, two of them have been open casket. The last one for my grandma, they had a picture of my grandpa in the casket with her, which was the third that I'm too young to remember. Honestly, the picture of my grandpa that I never really knew was probably the hardest to deal with out of all of them. But then again, maybe my family just does it differently than most with not trying to hi
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I don't know if it's different outside North America, but try to count the number of funerals you've been to
8
and then how many of those were open-casket.
8
Take It To The Next Level (Score:1)
There are so many ways to say (Score:1)
I just don't give a shit about who died.
I already see how people have stopped calling each other to keep in touch and just follow Facebook updates, like they tell the real story about how people are doing.
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"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours."
Among some cultures, if you don't go to people's funerals, they will (1) come back to haunt you or (2) their aggrieved relatives will put a curse on you. Still true in some parts of the good old USA.
It's real enough already, thank you! (Score:2)
My office building is next to the pathology department, and I can't go to lunch without seeing a hearse loading or unloading.
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My office building is next to the pathology department, and I can't go to lunch without seeing a hearse loading or unloading.
Don't be so morbid. That is just lunch getting delivered to the staff there.
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It did cross my mind when there was shepherd's pie on the menu last week...By the time I got there, though, they'd run out of shepherds.
Frys with that? (Score:3)
I dunno, they need to up the lack of class if they ever hope to top drive through funerals [time.com]
What a surprise... (Score:5, Interesting)
A bunch of people who make their living off of dressing up dead bodies and charging people to view them is concerned about people not wanting to come see dead bodies in person. Of course, saying it that way would be crass, so we get a bunch of ramble about the grieving process and how important it is to see dead bodies in person as part of that.
"To have death and mourning transferred online takes away that tangible proof. What is there to show us that death is real?"
Maybe the fact that Aunt Tilly no longer calls/emails you once a week to check up? Do you really need to see a body to know somebody died.
The real fear is that if showing up to an online funeral becomes popular, then people will start to question why they are spending so much money on dressing up dead bodies and propping them up for viewing. If everybody is just looking at an image of them anyway, why not just show a slideshow of photos of the deceased? And if you do that then you can dispense with the funeral services almost entirely. There might still be a gathering, but it could be anywhere. There might still be a religious service, but it might not include tens of thousands of dollars worth of embalming and equipment.
Amen. (Score:2, Interesting)
They don't give one tenth of one shit about the grieving process. Some of them may have told themselves that to make themselves more comfortable sleeping on a gigantic bed stuffed with money. The mortuaries have managed to get themselves written into law and they're fighting tooth and nail to remain there. But ultimately, less of us believe in an afterlife than ever before, and thus we don't need a corpse present at a memorial. When I'm done, I'd like to have a tree stuck up my arse and be stuck head-down i
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They don't give one tenth of one shit about the grieving process.
I agree mostly, but apparently you can bypass the mortuary hokum - at least here - Only thing they'll do to me is toast my ass. Otherwise no embalming, no prettying me up (some jobs are beyond doing anyhow), no viewing or service. If I can just get my ashes hauled out with the trash, it will be even simpler.
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embalming?
Where I live they clean up, cloth up and bury the dead. Sometimes we go for a celebration with family and close friends. Burial house gets its share of money anyway. You can save on quality of coffin and some such. You still need a burial house to bury or otherwise process the remains. There is usually a place where some speeches are done and/or people can say g'd riddance to the dead - they can skip that too and save on it, while streaming burning of remains (direct from furnace for additional fe
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I bet you think you have a hard life graced with wit and insight. You'd be wrong.
I think I lead a valuable life. I don't care what you think about THAT.
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Maybe the fact that Aunt Tilly no longer calls/emails you once a week to check up? Do you really need to see a body to know somebody died.
The real fear is that if showing up to an online funeral becomes popular, then people will start to question why they are spending so much money on dressing up dead bodies and propping them up for viewing.
Pretty much this.
I decided long ago that I was having neither a funeral or any service. Roast me, toast me, and find some way to lose the ashes.
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I decided long ago that I was having neither a funeral or any service. Roast me, toast me, and find some way to lose the ashes.
My wife and I had the same discussion. Have the body disposed of in the cheapest way possible, and maybe plant a memorial tree in the backyard or something. If she feels the need to blow $20k in the process she can take the family to disney world or something.
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you can dispense with the funeral services almost entirely. There might still be a gathering, but it could be anywhere. There might still be a religious service, but it might not include tens of thousands of dollars worth of embalming and equipment.
Cremation already gives families that option. Crematoriums often have options for viewing the body prior to cremation, probably for an extra charge. The cremated remains can be transported without special permits & methods of storage are up to the custodian of the ashes.
Tom Sawyer Applications / Counterfeits (Score:1)
What is there to show us that death is real? (Score:2)
Well... duh. That's what FPS are for.
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"I remember them, too."
"Tell me about them."
Re:Not surprising really (Score:5, Insightful)
Funerals aren't for the dead - they're for the living. Try giving the eulogy at your parents' funeral, with your sisters and your uncles and aunts there. You'll "get it."
Just like the drunken party^Wwake afterwards is also for the living. 'Cuz it sure won't wake the dead, but it takes the edge off of people standing around like a bunch of stiffs, not knowing how to say how they feel.
Me, I just want them to donate my body to science and go directly to the wake.
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Funerals aren't for the dead - they're for the living. Try giving the eulogy at your parents' funeral, with your sisters and your uncles and aunts there. You'll "get it.".
I agree about the purpose of funerals. I wrote my mother's obituary, stored her ashes at my home for a couple of days, transported them 500 miles to her town of origin, gave her eulogy at her funeral and actually buried her ashes in the same plot with 2 of her sisters, with my own two hands. A great many people reading this thread will just not "get it", and will never "get it" even after they die. Denial is not only a river in Egypt.
Opinion and experience.... (Score:2)
The rest of the family was scattered across Europe, North America, and Asia. We had about 30 people at the ceremony in North America, and nearly as many watching by Skype from around the world. It was a good thing.
You may or may not want this for yourself or your loved ones, but I cannot imagine why funeral directors-- craven, predatory businesses--would be entitled to an opinion on the subject. I'm also annoyed by the failure to recognize that many families
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I have been there several times. Nothing good I can tell.
Funeral = Waste of time and money and it doesn't make me happy or give me anything positive in return.
Facebook funerals - they are coooming... (Score:2)
Soon - a special status column in your profile where you can enter living, deceased or 50 other statuses that Facebook reviewed with council of the undead. Then your friends can like the status change and view targeted advertisements for life-prolonging products.
New Career Options (Score:3)
DJ = Death Jockey -- provide color commentary
Emcee - Mortician of Ceremonies ("Hi, I'm Ebeneezer Grimsuit, and this is "Good Mourning America....")
...it's a very slow day at the office.
Already on YouTube (Score:3)
Most of them include the deceased's last words, "Hey! Watch this!"
Funerals aren't only about the dead. (Score:5, Insightful)
If you go to a funeral, it's to comfort those who have lost a loved one; these people will often travel to make it. Sometimes they can't. If there is a way to pay your respects when you can't travel, then a webcast is better than hearing about it, at least you hear the eulogy and the next time you see the family you can at least talk about the service.
One could argue we're taking away the personal aspect, but I doubt anyone who would have went to the funeral would skip it if the webcast were available. This is a good thing for those in bad times.
What next? (Score:2)
This might help (Score:2)
I hate attending funerals and only do it because I'm expected to. Would the existence of livestreaming allow me to skip the whole thing while claiming that I took part via the stream? If so, then I'm greatly in favor of it!
new venture (Score:1)
I have webcast several funerals (Score:2)
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The first one was for my brother-in-law, who died of ALS. He was very close to one of his nieces, but she was in the Army in Germany, and they didn't consider the relationship close enough for leave. So she watched my webcast via Ustream. The interesting thing is that Ustream stores the webcast, and it has been watched more than 200 times. I suspect most of those views were my sister - and why not? Here is a recording of their family and friends talking about how much they loved the man she lost. In another case, a friend's husband died of a massive stroke. His wife and kids were in the Midwest, but his mom and the rest of his family was back east, and his mother was too old and ill to travel, so she watched the webcast.
What would keep friends & family of the deceased from doing the same, using their own skills & equipment? A broadband internet connection at the site of the funeral, decent lighting. decent miking, & a few 110VAC outlets would be enough, IIRC.